I thought lectures about staying away from boys, not having children and focusing on education and work were happening in every home in America. However as an adult, I've met lots of people-those who went to college and those who did not-who said their parents didn't offer them any advice regarding their future. They found their own way.
While I had the education thing down pat, honestly that is the only life skills training my parents were able to provide. In terms of spirituality, personal development, career planning, money management, cultural enrichment etc my parents could not guide me in any of these areas as they weren't well versed in them themselves. Even with the education piece, they couldn't offer any specific instructions. They ordered me to do well in school. I then figured out how to do it and performed.
I'm not knocking the parents of yesteryear who did not have access to the information that we have today regarding child rearing and development. Still we've got to acknowledge that many of us did not get as children what we needed to develop into our greatest selves. This is why self-help is so critical.
What our parents and caregivers were unable to give, we must give ourselves. If you know you have an anger problem because there was a lot of disharmony in your household growing up, get self-help books on the subject. Read them, absorb the information and apply what you learn. If you're raising your children in the manner in which you were raised even though you didn't agree with the approach, find books that outline other methods. Read, absorb, apply.
I notice a lot of self-help books focus on the "failures" of parents, but in the words of Queen Afua "they gave us what they had." Also we know now the ancient truth that it takes a village to raise one child. So it's not fair to hold one or two people completely accountable when they had no village to turn to.
Again this is why we need self-help. If we help ourselves first, imagine what we can then do for others in our own families and beyond.
Leah Mullen, Author of AGAIN AND AGAIN
Please visit my site http://www.leahmullen.com/ blog: http://mylifeisapageturner.blogspot.com/ life coaching column: http://www.bellaonline.com/site/lifecoaching Follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/leah_mullen Do we read the same books? check out my shelf http://www.shelfari.com/leah_mullen Visit my profile on http://www.amazon.com/ to see my latest book reviews and guides including "Be a Self-Actualized Black Woman!"
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