This is a reposted blog from one that I wrote on Yahoo 360 in June, 2006. I posted it here because it speaks to what we need to consider when flirting and dating in the 2000's. I believe that the reason why so many people are still single and we never relax, date and fall in love, is that we tend to complicate love.
When we kept it simple and brothers enjoyed a sister's company and sisters felt safe in a brother's arms, we produced healthy relationships and even strong marriages. But then brothers became subject to financial audits and sisters were auditioning for the surprise one-night stand, both parties became very gun shy about being committed.
Let me stop preaching and get off my soapbox. Here's the reposted blog below:
Back in the day, dating was simple. You could exchange phone numbers, talk to each other and even date without it seeming as though you are negotiating a business transaction. Now, it seems as if you have to pass a credit check, employment check, criminal background check and a test for STD's in order to consider having a monogamous relationship with someone. Judge Mablean Ephraim on television's "Divorce Court" has said repeatedly, "Look before you leap." However, when emotions, hormones and time are involved, this isn't always possible. That's the level that it's escalated to, especially in a large, metropolitan city like Chicago.
African-American men and women are on alert to become more selective, even picky, because of the growing concerns that have been portrayed by the media about the way things are going inside our community. Our problems aren't new. Because we weren't born into riches and the playing field isn't always level, we tend to remain angry at the victims and not the causes. Fellas, we pass up some really cool females because we may want a woman who has long hair, is light complexioned, is well-endowed, has a better backfield than the Chicago Bears, has a pretty face or all of the above. Ladies, you'll pass up the best thing that ever happened to you because you may want a man who has a six bedroom house, drives a Cadillac Escalade, wears all designer clothes, makes six figures, has muscles for days or all of the above.
In starting this worldwide dialogue, my questions are: What do you have to bring to the table, either tangibly or intangibly, to attract, obtain, keep and more importantly, remain happy with the type of person that you desire and the one that you believe God has sent to you? Whom do you believe is to blame for the tension in our community where dating is concerned? And should we keep things the way that they are or should we bend a little in making our choices? Surprise me with your replies to this weblog.
Maurice Clark, President
