I want to write

In my reading this week, I read that Alex Haley fought depression so great that he contemplated suicide because he wasn't making a decent living doing what he did best....WRITE.

I have been unemployed for a year, too long....to alleviate my growing despondecy and to make myself feel useful. I poured my heart into a new website where I was supposed to be selling Nature Sunshine Products. Today, I am not despondent. I am encouraged by words I have read and words I have shared, though I am no Alex Haley....he touched the lives of so many.

As I began to develop my site, I searched the internet and I found an online bookstore to add to my site. I found more Books....I was so excited. I forgot what else I added to sell....Actually, I don't want to sell, I want to write. I have already educated many and helped others to educate. I don't want to educate anymore....I want to write.

Imagine my excitement when a woman I met online, who has become my good friend, told me the concept of online marketing was to offer free information in the hopes someone would buy something. Perfect, since I want to write.

Imagine my excitement as I did just what she told me to do...offer free information.

Well in my mind information means to conduct research, to tell of one's experiences, and of course to write...to write...to write.

So, write I did. It is what I love to do. Write and then to read in order to have something else to write about.

For the past month, I have been writing to my hearts content, haven't earn a dime...but I am fulfilled, because of my writing,and in my reading to have more to write. Clearly,then, I want to write. Writing should be able to pay the bills. My sister could hold in her disgust when I shared my excitemet...I submitted 6 or 7 articles to Ezine Articles and was given the title of Expert Author....Google my name, I told her...Michelle R. Yisrael....they even gave me an "Expert Author" emblem to put on my website....Did they pay you? was her only response.

Needless to say, she did not share my excitemet. LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL ...Wait maybe I am crazy! Since to my surprise, my bills are due,yet again, next week. There is no more money left from my last curriculum writing contract. And, to top it off, two people burst my bubble in their critique of my site. They said it is too wordy.

Too wordy!

Too wordy.....what! they don't like words.

Why not, I love words....

My question is this:

Why do people want to speak so many vain and unnecessary words, but few people want to read them?

What's wrong with words!

Is it just me!

I don't get it!

But I will try to conform, this week when I post on Sunday evening. I will try to write fewer word.....reluctantly.

So...I guess...since the bills won't pay themselves....at the age of 49...divorced....with two 'new' adults....a hormonal 16 year old....and yes, 'two', twins 13 bubbly with busy... I will start sending out my resume....again....There has to be someone out there who will pay me for may words.